Asking Eric: Friend’s dog not welcome in the pool

Dear Eric Can you offer any advice about a good friend who lets her dog jump in my pool I have an inground vinyl liner pool so one concern is the dog could damage the liner with its nails or teeth And my friend does not have the funds to replace the liner if it were damaged nor would she maybe offer Her dog chewed apart one of my pool floats that cost and it was never replaced Also when the dog is in the pool it slightly freaks out and tries to jump on me and bites And when it s out of the pool it runs through my gardens and digs It would seem like it s a no-brainer no dog in the pool But my friend thinks it s hysterical and she s such a good friend I don t want to hurt her feelings She and her husband are those people who think their dog is the best thing in the world and why wouldn t anyone love everything their dog does I know I should just say no dog but a precedent has been set and she has already demanded when the pool is opening No Doggy Paddling Dear Paddling Your pool your rules The start of a new pool season is a good opportunity to set a new precedent You can cite the chewed pool float you can cite the jumping and biting you can merely say that it s not something you re secure with anymore But as would be the episode with any human in your pool you have the right and the responsibility to determine what s safe and relaxed Have this conversation in advance And don t put it up for debate I love your dog but I don t want to have dogs in the pool or in my garden I m concerned about the vinyl liner tearing and I d like to keep my gardens intact I love hanging out with you and I hope you understand Now she may receive this as you banning the dog but that s not the episode This is you communicating what you need to feel safe and to ensure everyone else s safety and enjoyment If she pushes back refocus her on that point Dear Eric This is regarding Also an Animal Lover whose neighbor was feeding wild animals in her backyard I lived next door to a woman who would feed deer and one day my wife counted deer in our backyard ravaging our flowers and bushes I called the state Department of Environmental Conservation DEC and their examination uncovered that she was also harboring raccoons in her garage and slept with a bear cub in her bedroom Thankfully the DEC gave her a citation the animals were removed and her deer feeding was curbed Your correspondent demands to do more than just website suggestions she requirements to contact her state environmental personnel to get them to curb her neighbor s behavior Responsible Animal Lover Dear Animal Lover This is extreme and extremely dangerous In a great number of states it s also illegal to feed wild animals so even if the neighbor is not harboring them in her home she still puts herself at vulnerability of a citation or fine in addition to the clear danger presented by chosen of the animals themselves If she won t listen to reason the personnel need to intervene Dear Eric Here s an idea for the letter writer No Lifeguard on Duty regarding friends inviting themselves over to use their pool When growing up in Monrovia California our next-door neighbor had a pool which we could see over our fence We longed to be in it Our neighbor had a system whereby she would put out a white flag on a pole indicating that all in the neighborhood were welcome to come use the pool Children had to have a parent with them All of our neighbors were friends so there was lots of socializing going on those afternoons It was unspoken that you brought your own towel water or drinks and used the bathroom prior to coming to the pool We kids LOVED White Flag Day and it solved the obstacle of people asking if they could come to use the pool Related Articles Asking Eric After a rift and a breakdown sister-in-law wants to rebuild relationship Asking Eric Mother can t accept daughter s unambitious husband Asking Eric New boyfriend comes with a warning from his sister-in-law Asking Eric Mother unsure whether to contact estranged son on deathbed Asking Eric Husband s hygiene causes big stink in marriage Thankful for a Generous Neighbor Dear Thankful I love this suggestion It was a very popular one It seems that the readership of this column is chock full of people who have Pool Flag Neighbors Having never lived in an area with pools this is very stimulating I ll be sure to look out for those flags too this Fourth of July Other readers pointed out the liability pool owners assume and cautioned that the owners should think twice at least before letting friends use it when the owners weren t home The vulnerability involved could serve as a good way of politely declining requests Send questions to R Eric Thomas at eric askingeric com or P O Box Philadelphia PA Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas com